He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
