I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
