so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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