There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
