; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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