About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
