She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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