So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I want to fling myself into the sun
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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