I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
