i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
