i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
