He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
