Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
