watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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