Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
