# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I still have a little drunk in my system
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
