Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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