dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
