If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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