Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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