The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
