I am puke
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am naked and annoyed.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
