wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
