Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
