Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
