I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
