I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
