I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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