My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
