Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
