angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
