dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
