you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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