Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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