her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
