To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
