Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
