it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
