Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
