i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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