My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
