Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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