That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
