Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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