I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
