I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
