it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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