Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
