you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
