how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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