I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
