My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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