Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
